Soul of a Butterfly
by White Dragon Lily
Summary: Dean come back from a hunt late at night. He finds Sam in the bathroom hurting himself. One thing leads to another and a secret is revealed. Warnings: Self-harm, BoyxBoy, don't like, DONT READ!


**A/N: I do not own supernatural or any of the characters sadly.**

**Warnings: Self-harm! BoyxBoy**

**Read at your own risk. ^.^ Enjoy!**

It was already dark out and the moon was high in the sky. Dean looked at the clock on his phone; 12:02 flashed on the front. He sighed and started the car driving back to the motel where his younger brother was most likely sleeping. Dean didn't like leaving Sam alone for more than one day, something about leaving his 16 year old brother by himself at a motel made him feel guilty; or it might be because he's in love with his brother, but it been two and half day's since the elder brother has seen Sam.

Dean pulled up to the front of the motel room. He turned off the car grabbed the key to the motel room and hopped out of the car. Opening the door to the room, Dean stepped into the dark room, expecting to see a little lump under the covers of one of the beds, but the lump was missing. The lights in the bathroom were on and shined through the crack under the door.

"Sammy!" Dean called. "What are you doing still up so late? Are you jacking of in there!?" The brother laughed as he knocked on the door. No one responded. Dean dropped his smile as he tried the door only to find it locked. "Sammy?" Dropping to on knee he decided to pick the lock, and he was through the door in a matter of seconds. Dean stood and looked into the bathroom.

His younger brother was sitting on floor. His back against the wall, one leg stretched out in front of him, while the other was tucked into his chest, and his arms wrapped around it. The boy head rested on his knee, and his hair fell around his face. A small pocket knife was laid on the floor, the sharp edge coated in a thin layer of blood with a couple drops of the crimson liquid under the blade. The boy's inner left arm had several deep to shallow cuts, one or two still crying blood.

"Sammy?" Dean mumbled. Sam head snapped up, his hair floated around him as his eyes meet his older brothers. Tear streaks ran on his cheeks and his lip was bleed as though Sam bit his lip to hard. The boy's face turned from dejected to panic. Sam made an effort to get up and move away, but his brother was already moving to stop him. Dean placed his hands on the boy's shoulder and pushed him to sit back down, as his kneeled in front of him.

"Dean" Sam started put looked down not knowing how to explain this.

"Hey." The older brother said. Brown eyes meet the green and elder smiled. "It's ok; you don't have to explain yourself." A tear threated to bubble over Sam's eye as he looked at his brother.

"I'm sorry." Was all Sam said as he started to cry. Dean wrapped his arms around his brother head and pulled the boy to his chest as he pressed his lips into the boy's hair and closed his eyes.

"Don't cry, it's alright, it's all going to be ok." Dean whispered into Sam's hair.

Once Sam calmed down, Dean took it into his hands to make sure to take care of the wounds. He brought the first aid kit into the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat cover, and his brother sat in front of him on the floor. He placed the white box on the sink and opened it, taking out a cloth and pouring a little rubbing alcohol on it.

"Sam, can I see?" Dean asked reaching out his hand so he can take the youngster hand. Sam hesitated but flipped his hand, so the palm faced up and extended it toward his brother's waiting hand. Taking the boy's arm, lightly wrapping his fingers around it so his brother could pull away if he wanted to, he looked at the damaged skin. White, and red scars already lined the skin under the new fresher ones, that where all in different stages of healing.

Taking the cloth he softly pressed it to Sam skin, and watched his brother reaction. The boy winced but didn't pull away; Dean took this as a good sign and kept going until the arm was wrapped with bandages.

"Sammy?" Dean spoke quietly to not startle his brother. "Do you want to tell me why you're doing this?" Sam looked at his brother's worried eyes, and then looked back down at the floor. He knows if he doesn't say anything his brother will take it as a no, but will always be worrying about him, but then again how do you tell your _blood_ brother you're in love with them.

"Because it hurts," Sam whispered.

"What?" Dean pressed.

"It hurts to see…" Sam bit his lip reopening the wound already there. "To see you with someone else, when I'm in love with you," The boy quietly and Dean barely caught the words. Dean fast twisted in pain, and he looked at his brother. "To be alone, here; just sitting here and worried if you're ever going to return."

"Sammy, look at me." Dean commanded in a quiet voice. Sam brought his head up and looked at his brother. The elder suddenly grabbed Sam's hair and yanked his closer, kissing the teenager on the lips. The brown eyes widened before melting into the kiss and bring one hand up to softly grip his brother's leather jacket. "Sammy, promise me you'll tell me whatever is bothering you before you turn to something like this, because Sammy I love you too, the only reason I was ever with someone else was because I was trying to forget about you. I told myself it's wrong to love your own brother so I turn to other people. Sammy I love you too." Dean whispered once he pulled away. Sam looked at his brother and softly smiled. "Promise me, you'll talk before you do this."

"I promise." Sam said. Dean pulled his brother to his feet, took the razor off the floor and wiped it off with a cloth, and cleaned up the few drops of blood on the floor. Closing the pocket knife he looked at it for a moment, he turned and handed it to Sam. The younger looked at the pocket knife and looked at his brother.

"I trust you Sammy, but I heard it's hard to stop after doing it for a while, and I don't want you to turn to something worse when the need gets to be much." The older brother slurred. Sam just stared at the blade and then looked back up to his brother.

"Ok." Sam whispered and put the knife into his pant pocket. The boy walked out of the bathroom and sat down on the bed, dean followed but stood in front of the boy.

"Sam?" Dean said and Sam looked up. The elder planted a kiss on his brother lips once more. He pulled away a few inches and carded the younger's hair. Building up his courage, Sam grabbed his brother jacket and yanked him closer.

Smiling against the boy's lips Dean pushed them down onto the bed, and nudged them toward the middle, so Sam could comfortable lay himself out. The man supported himself with one hand and using the other to softly touch his brother neck. Slowly he moved down over the boy's shirt and slipped his hand under. Sam gasped and tried to stop Dean but the elder already felt the rough texture of dried blood on his brother's sides. Sitting back on the boy's hip's Dean began to unbutton Sam's shirt. Once the top was undone he pushed the two sides off the boy's body.

Cuts and scars laced the boy sides and chest. Dean leaned down and softly kissed the cuts caused the younger to gasp, the man pulled back up Dean kissed his brother. He careful ran his hands down the boy's chest running his hands over the Sam's nipples.

Younger gasped under him, and moaned softly, the other smiled and looked the boy in the eyes. He ran his hand lower rubbing the growing bulge in between the boy's legs. Sam bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Does that feel good Sammy?" Dean whispered. Sam only nodded as his brother rubbed him again. "Well this will feel better." The man said as he pulled of the boy's pants and boxer in one smooth motion, and engulfed the half hard cock, causing the boy to cry out in surprise and pleasure. Dean licked the vein on the backside of Sam's dick and took him into his mouth once more, sucking on the hard meat. He teased his brother, as he bobbed up and down, alternating between slow and fast. The teasing went on long enough for Sam back to arch of the bed and he came into his brother mouth.

Dean smiled at him as he swallowed it and the elder watch his brother's cheek turned red. Dean crawled up and kissed the boy, slipping his tongue into the teen's mouth. Sam tried to move his hand to rub his brother's tent but only got his hand pined to the bed.

"I can wait, it's all about you Sam." The older brother smiled as he took of his jacket and shirt tossing them somewhere on the floor. He got Sam completely out of his own shirt and it joined the pile of Dean clothing. "Suck." Three fingers were pushed into the boy's mouth and he obeyed licking and sucking Dean's fingers. Once he thought ready the man pulled his fingers away, and moved them to the younger puckers hole.

Sam quietly gasped and looked at Dean with frightened eyes.

"I won't do this if you don't want to." Dean mumbled. Sam looked to his brother, seeing the lust in his eyes and he couldn't be greedy. He knew it would hurt but what's a little pain to the pleasure is could bring.

"No, no. I want too." Sam whispered. Dean pulled the boy's legs up and one finger was pushed in and Sam moaned. It wasn't painful but it was little uncomfortable. After pumping the one figure in and out, Dean added a second. Sam closed his eyes, this time it was boarding the line of pain and complete discomfort. Dean pumped the two fingers in and out before scissoring them causing the younger to moan softly as the pleasure started to become present. A few more time and the third finger were added. The moan this time was more out of pain then pleasure. The man paused for a moment before moving on to pumping them. He paused and Sam eyes widen as he let out a quiet cry in pleasure. Dean smiled and hit that special spot several more times before pulling away.

Sam moaned at the loss, but soon felt something much bigger pressed up against his entrance. "We can stop here, if you want." Dean said when he saw his brother distress. The boy shook his head.

"No, keep going." Sam said. He looked down getting even more nervous one he saw that his brother was huge. Dean pushed in slowly, pausing half way when his brother breathing started to become labored.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it-it just hurts a little." Sam mumbled closing his eyes. Dean let his brother adjust before pushing in the rest of the way. Panting the younger wrapped his hands around elder neck holding onto him. The man kissed and nipped at the boy's neck trying to distract him from the pain.

"Tell me when it feels better?" Dean whispered against the boy's neck. Sam looked at his brother and saw in the man's eyes just how much self-control it took to not move.

"Just move." Sam said.

"I don't want to hurt you, Sammy."

"Dean, please." Despite the pain the quite beg still sound genuine. Dean slowly pulled out and slowly moved back in. Gripping his brother tighter, Sam tried to ignore the pain. The man set a slow pace until his brother adjusted to the feeling and soon enough the moans turned to one's of pleasure.

Dean set the pace a faster as he kissed his brother and they battled for dominance but the moment the elder hit the boy's prostate, Sam lost his focus and the elder won the battle running his tongue over the other's. He nipped at the boy's lip and pulled away, looking into Sam's lost eyes.

"Dean, i-I'm close." The younger whispered. Dean picked up the pace causing the other to moan louder as he slipped his hand in between their bodies and pumped Sam's dick in time with his thrusts. The boy moans louder as he felt his climax coming closer. "Dean!" The younger cried out as he clenched around Dean and reached his climax spilling his seed over his brother and himself.

"Sammy." Dean moaned as he felt the boy clench around him. He began thrust in even harder and with his brother's name on his lips him gave one last stab and came inside the boy. Coming off cloud nine the man collapsed next to the younger and softly ran his fingers through the boy's hair. "I love you, Sammy."

"I love you too." Sam whispered as he tried to fight the sleepiness that was pulling him under. Kiss the boy on the forehead the elder pulled his brother closer into a soft hug.

"Sleep, I'll be here when you wake. I won't leave you alone anymore."

Sam only managed a nod as he fell asleep in the warm arms of his older brother, his new found lover, finally feeling at ease.

**A/N: Hope you liked O.o… Well you know well the review box is… type your beautiful comments and criticism. Please do review! **


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